Happy, happy Friday my friends! I hope you have a lot of excitement going on this weekend, I know I do! I have a house full of guests, a wedding to go to and my baby shower on Sunday! So excited!
The other day, I received an email from a reader who asked to remain anonymous. She wanted to know my thoughts on the right time to have a baby, and I wanted to share that with all of you.
I don’t necessarily think there is a right or wrong time to have a baby. I do think there will always be a reason to put it off-wanting to buy a home, figuring out your career path, losing those last 5 lbs. In the end though, it felt like those were all excuses.
Solomon and I knew we both wanted to have our first child by the time we were 30, which would be next year. We also had all of those reasons to wait:
- I was incredibly unhappy in PA and did not have a job, or much to keep me entertained. I was basically right on the edge of a depression.
- I have no idea what my career path is. Despite having my J.D., I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.
- We both wanted to get into tip top shape.
- Babies are expensive-can we afford this without giving up too many of the luxuries we enjoy?
- Rufio. He has been our baby for 2 years. Is he ready to give up being our focus?
- Etc., etc., etc.
Finally, we sat down and had a talk about it. We realized that no matter what, there would also be a reason to wait. We could win the lottery, pay off all of our loans and live the perfect life (for us), but would want to spend time traveling, and it might make sense to put a baby on hold for that reason.
Finally, we just decided to put it in the hands of fate, and see what happened. We were very fortunate and able to get pregnant right away, which was a complete and total shock for us. We thought we would have more time to figure things out, but it wasn’t written in the stars that way for us.
In the end, I honestly believe that we were blessed with this little boy at this time for a reason. If I had a job in PA, we probably would have stayed no matter what, even with a baby. Maybe it was good I didn’t have a job, and we had to move, because this pregnancy was able to bring me back to myself. I was able to be my own person again, without any fears of depression. He also brought us back to Boston-back to Solomon’s family, closer to my family, closer to a Jewish community, closer to a culture and life we know and love. The list just goes on and on. We know he happened to us for a reason, and we are thankful everyday for what he has done for us, both individually and as a couple, and we haven’t even met him yet!
So the bottom line is, there may never be a perfect time for you. Not just for having a baby, but for anything big that you want to do in your life. So take that risk, and put your life in the hands of fate, it may turn out to be the best choice you make!
Right now, baby is at about 4 lbs. and isn’t getting much longer! His skin is getting much more opaque, and pinking up as layers of fat deposit beneath his skin. He is also head down at this point (the doctor checked), so I feel him squirming and moving in different spots in my belly. His bones are also hardening, and his brain continues to develop more folds and connections. He has also (ALLEGEDLY) developed regular sleeping and waking schedules, but it seems like he’s just up and playing at random! With the way things are moving and growing, my lungs have limited room to expand, and breathing is getting a lot harder. At least little boy is getting enough air! The growth is also making me have to spend much more time in the bathroom, because seriously, I didn’t spend enough before?!?! Also, since things are getting a lot tighter in there, I can see him moving around a whole lot more. It’s always bizarre to look down and see your stomach just moving along like a jelly mold.
What’s up this weekend? Anything fun?
When was the last time you put a decision in the hands of fate? Was it the right choice?